On unexpected praise...

I've remarked before about a gentleman I work with whom I admire greatly. He's my father's age, was a Lt. Colonel in the Army for many years before joining the battlefield of higher education administration, and is sincerely a hero of mine. I also consider him a friend. We are a bit of an odd couple in that sense, but we crack each other up, get along famously and he's one of the best things about going to my job every day. I love hearing about his grandchildren and his days living overseas, in particular. I know working alongside him makes me a better person and professional. He's hard working, a true leader and a wonderful person. He's also great for perspective. During one of many pep talks he's given me he related, "Don't worry. This isn't a bad day. A bad day at my old job meant people died. So, again, this isn't a bad day."

Pep talks. He's given me quite a few of them over the past 8 months or so, ever since my professional world jumped a few notches in madness and I was asked to take on a great deal more responsibility. He ended up giving me another today, as always unsolicited but needed just the same. I've been asked to do one of those pesky things that I simply don't believe in or agree with, but must do nevertheless. He's one of the people asking me to take this action with which I disagree. The conversation was good natured, but did, in fact, make my jaw drop at one very specific point.

"You're strong-willed," he said, "That's one of the things I really admire about you."

I have a big "impostor syndrome" illness. The impostor syndrome is the condition many professionals have where they think they don't deserve the success they've achieved and, at any moment, will be exposed for the frauds they really are. Honestly. There's at least one book about it.

So to hear someone my father's age, someone who has seen military combat and led divisions of soldiers and worked with professionals far better than myself say, "That's one of the things I admire about you", gave me a lot of pause. I know I'm well liked and respected by him, and quite honestly that would be enough for me. But to hear such a man speak of admiration for me, well, I'm walking a little taller, despite the madness around me.

He's been trained to sniff out spies and kill men with his pinkie finger. Maybe I'm not that big of an impostor after all.