Sunday, August 5, 2007

On the torture on the radio...

It's been a rough year for a few of my married friends. Divorce, potential separation and a lack of communication have reared their ugly heads, making it more and more of a challenge for me to remain optimistic at every wedding I attend. And, oddly enough, with each passing trouble, I feel I have less and less to offer in terms of advice or encouragement.

I spent the afternoon with a friend who is experiencing some of these troubles. We talked for hours with seemingly no true answers or resolutions, but left simply with the hope that she and her spouse could find the strength to change, to grow up, to listen, to forgive. I get the sense I have more faith in that possibility than she does.

As I got in the car and drove home, my fingers displayed some major ADD. They were on auto pilot as they shuffled through my pre-programmed radio stations. There wasn't a single song I could commit to. Everything just hurt my heart. Love ballads, Coldplay and all bands that sound like them (FIE!), even the peppier stuff just left me frustrated. I was either going to cry or beat my head against the wheel in frustration. I'll confess I did one of the two (and to give you a hint I have no mark on my forehead). I couldn't stand anything I heard, but couldn't take the silence either.

It got me thinking about listening. Do I ever really listen to music unless there's something wrong? Sure, it's on, and I experience it, but in a much more peripheral manner. I couldn't take it. And it just made me wonder what she was listening to as she drove home and was she still ok. I hope she is. I hope she's feeling as strong, caring and beautiful as the woman she is.

No comments: