20 Confessions

1) I probably dislike more people than I should for stupid reasons. I admit this is a fault. I began to realize this as I stood there and decided to dislike the people standing next to me tonight because of what they were wearing and how they were speaking. I know that’s wrong. Still, I need real things and real people. I believe true beauty is accomplished in five minutes of basic makeup and minimal hair maintenance. I love the fact that if your general way of dress and mannerisms don’t scream “DOWN TO EARTH” that I don’t have a ton of time for you. Simply put, it’s how I roll.

2) I will never be a size 2, 4, or 6. Well, I could probably be a 6 if I decided to stop eating. But, here’s the deal. I love food. Like LOVE food. I love things like cheese and carboyhydrates, I like to cook with butter (within reason) and I eat more red meat than the average estrogen carrier. I still believe in a generally healthy lifestyle, but, nevertheless, I will likely always have a soft stomach and have no real business in a bikini. I intend to surround myself with people who are ok with that.

3) 9 times out of 10 I take what you say personally. I’m too sensitive. I’m working on it, I swear. But when you decide to ignore me, be brusque with me or overall less than friendly, it’s going to get to me. So, if I promise to work on taking things less personally and you can work on treating me with less attitude, we’ll get along just fine.

4) I’m scared of ending up alone. Both of my parents have and are very lonely. Cut me some slack for the notion getting to me from time to time.

5) Compliments mean the world to me. You might catch me fighting back tears if you pay me one. Such a softy, I know.

6a) I will love you if you think I’m funny.

6b) I will love you if I think you’re funny.

7a) I don’t wear heels and I go for comfort over fashion. I know this is appalling to some. I need people in my life who find me lovely in a hooded sweatshirt and jeans.

7b) Still, I will make more effort on occasion. If I’m in a skirt or heels with you, it’s because you’re special and, in my mind, I’m going the extra mile for you. Acknowledge it appropriately.

8) Pot smoking just bothers me. I wish people I care about wouldn’t do it.

9) I LOATHE women who act differently around men than they do around women. There are perfectly nice people that I cannot stand for this very reason.

10) I get jealous. I can’t help it.

11) I kind of want to punch Tara Conner and I find her recent stint in rehab to be nothing but condescending. As someone who has loved ones with real addiction issues, I find the whole scenario around her completely offensive. If she had a real problem, that would be one thing. Who knows, maybe she does. If so, I take it back. Either way, I believe she should have lost her crown. As much as celebrities complain about never “signing up to be a role model”, guess what, she did. She did and then she broke a law. Accept the consequences.

12) I have moments of unwavering confidence but, more often than not, I’m insecure. There are some genuine reasons for this. For example, I’ve seen so much infidelity in my life that I’m convinced all men cheat, or at least want to. Not fair. There really are some good guys out there. I need to be more confident, less cynical and learn to unload some baggage.

13) I’m learning that the more you advance in your career, the more you have to say no. There’s a misconception that you get to do whatever you want, implement new policies, build the more employee friendly workplace you’ve always hoped for. Nope, all it does is expose you to bigger issues that make you realize why those things weren’t done before. As someone who hates to be the bad guy, this is not a good fit so far.

14) I really do love sports. Please don’t take me out of the conversation because I’m female. I’ve never been a stats person and I still can’t articulate the infield fly rule, but it doesn’t mean I don’t love the passion for teams, the competition and the overall atmosphere it provides.

15) Don’t try to engage me in debate. It’s never interested me. You’ve got your opinion, I’ve got mine. I acknowledge your intelligence and you can do the same for me.

16) I can be so selfish sometimes. I try my best to hide it, but it's still there.

17) I really wish I could sing and act.

18) One of these days I’m going to work for a school that has a football team. It really bugs me.

19) I really wish partying appealed to me. I’ve just never liked the bar scene, unless it’s literally a few friends sitting in a booth with a few beers, and I’ve always felt out of place at parties. Still, I am what I am, and it’s not a party girl.

20) The idea of picking up and experiencing living in more places still appeals to me from time to time. Still, I’m really starting to crave setting down “roots” and I think it’s starting to beat the nomad out of me.