On needing a bigger boat...

If you'll turn back a few pages in your hymnals, class, you'll be reminded there are two life lessons I will always hear my mother saying to me as I navigate this crazy thing called life.

What you're feeling is only temporary. (Don't worry, this was only used when I was upset about something)

and

Don't burn bridges.

It was a tough day at work. I had two meetings with people who people in my office burned bridges with many many years ago. Or, as my dad likes to put it, "When Christ was still a cowboy." Who was truly the unreasonable participant in the my group vs. their group Sharks vs. Jets showdown is still unknown to me but, today, despite different players and different scenery, the war rages on.

So exactly what AM I supposed to do in this situation?

I can tell you, in crazy scary meeting number 1, that I did my best. I really did. I could not have come in more prepared or more articulate. I can't help that the M.O. of the gathering had more to do with "the others" taking me on in a 3 vs. 1 Mario Party showdown. And I can't help that despite my fearless leader's borderline humiliating attempts at peacemaking that nothing really seems to be getting all that better.

In scary meeting number 2, I was a bit more of a loose cannon. Why? Because I was tired, I had already been kicked around by many of the same players that day, and, well, this group doesn't have the same scary titles to allow them to be as ridiculous without any repercussions. Still, I know I could have behaved better. I know I have improved in light of the constantly angry Celtic Not appearing at meetings a month or two earlier, but I still could have taken a couple of more deep breathes, and even bitten my tongue at times.

At the same time, I don't want to be the type of leader who sits quietly through silliness. I know that's been a complaint of mine with my fearless leader at times. It's infuriating not to be backed up.

So, I know I didn't burn any bridges today, but I didn't necessarily mend any either. Still, it's exhausting to be a peacemaker and if that's what this job requires, I'm going to need a hell of a lot more caffeine.