On needing a getaway car...

The good news of the day is I found my wedding dress. Deposit is down. It's done. Overall, I opted for something more budget-friendly and practical than overly elegant and whimsical (whimsy equals HEAVY and sweat inducing), but I really like what I found and think it will be perfect for the day. Huzzah!

The dress was the unexpected consequence of my day trip to Durham. The Durham trip was planned, exclusively, to attend my first, and last, bridal show.

As the days narrowed prior to the event, I had this sinking feeling in my stomach that it was going to be a huge waste of my time. I'm not getting married down here, I have no need for local vendors, I just wanted some ideas. Ideas on things I don't know a thing about: flowers, ceremony and reception "concepts" for lack of a better word, etc. Long story short, it wasn't that. But, as my dread built about attending the event, I scheduled an appointment at David's Bridal and now I have a dress. So there.

I'm thoroughly disappointed with the bridal show experience. I was really looking forward to writing about my day spent as a true bride-to-be fully immersed in the whole thing. After all, one of my favorite students at my last job put together a feminist version of a bridal magazine for her senior thesis and did much of her research by attending these things. I was so impressed with the project and desperately wanted to help. Now, I have no idea how she got through it knowing she is of a similar mindset. I guess I just received the confirmation of reality I knew all along. The commercial wedding world is just not my scene.

Linen companies. Dress companies. Photographers. Videographers. DJs. Makeup artists. Gyms. Weight loss plans. China vendors (plates, not country). Did I mention DJs? With microphones and speakers? It honestly wasn't that big. It was just cheesy. I think it was the "strolling fashion show" that put me over the edge. Brides passing by me as I pretended to care about table settings.

You know those scenes in movies where they show the main character so overcome by his or her surroundings that the backdrop starts to zoom round and round as the figure sweats, rubs their eyes, tries to find some serenity in an all too chaotic environment? Well, it wasn't exactly like that. But it stressed me out just the same and was distracting enough to me to skip the cake samples. There was something about it. The maitre'd at the entryway of the registration desk, the big hair on the ladies at the desk, the sticker they gave me to wear identifying me as "the bride", (if only Kill Bill style) and the ballroom full of vendors circling attendees like sharks. It was good for me, actually, to walk into something like that and be reminded of what students attending a college fair for the first time are thinking. "Please just let me walk around. Please don't talk to me." I did one lap and was out.

I couldn't believe I spent $5 on the experience. At least college fairs are free.

It does occur to me that I'm really trying to set up my wedding so that it involves as few decisions as possible. We picked a location with few options for ceremony and reception sites. The reception site actually includes quite a bit of the things we'd otherwise have to worry about (ie table settings and centerpieces). I'm now formally astounded that there are people who do this type of stuff every day for people far less reasonable than I.

So for those of you who will join me and my groom next July 4, I apologize if our day lacks the keen eye to detail that you may expect. I apologize if I have the slightest bit of back fat creeping over my dress and I apologize if I don't stick to a single color scheme or spend thousands on flowers. I apologize if our outdoor set up is simple and lacking bows or ribbons or doilies or archways or doves. With a forgiving heart, just come, laugh with us, dance with us, eat, drink (wine, beer or soda!) and be merry.

That's all we ask.