On what I've got going for me..

My Mii may be stretching her virtual polyester pants to their breaking point, but there's one thing I've got going for me.

I don't drink Starbucks every day.

Thanks to the power of Facebook, I've recently learned that a woman who I went to college with/worked for in the admissions office of my alma mater has a daily Starbucks habit that she's trying to break. She laments in her status update that she spends $300/month on venti lattes.

There are few things that lead me to bust out a calculator, but I just had to do the math. If she purchased one venti latte at $4 a cup, every day for a month, that really shouldn't cost her more than $120 or so. Yah, that's right, I just made daily Starbucks look cheap. I can rationalize anything. Just throw it my way.

But $300/month. No hint of exaggeration as she's quoting the losses her retirement account took. So, really, she's going twice a day and jiving on venti lattes.

Good lord.

The thing is, on the rare occasion where I've had a loaded Starbucks card and have gone every day in a week, I'm left to feel nothing but bloaty and, well, a little whorish. You know how too much of a good thing can leave you feeling like a walking embodiment of sin? Yah. You just want to take a shower, loofa off the pumpkin spice latte dusting and rub your eyes so that brown, white and green aren't the only colors your over-caffeinated eyes can see. And stop with the Michael Buble already...

Dunkin Donuts every day, well, that's just a different story.

The good news about Dunkin Donuts is that their really unhealthy drinks, those that make you topple over with delight at 'Bucks, taste like a mix of Sunny D and Yoo Hoo at DD. They're awful. So the worst you can really do is light and sweet coffee. Don't get me wrong, a cup of that every day and your Mii's little red t-shirt is going to rip open like the Hulk. But at least you won't be broke.

And, let's face it, it's the food at Dunkin's that's the real trouble. At Starbucks, the scones taste like a cardboard box o' joe. Try it sometime. I'm sure they'll give you the empty box of coffee for free.