On top of the morning to my fist in your face...

I tend to think I know myself very well. Particularly my flaws. I wear them on my sleeve so to make it easier on everybody, but I also try to make up for them in spades.

So, yes, I'll help you move, but if you could first tell me why I'm better than this person sitting on this bench I'd really appreciate it. You're the best.

I've always considered myself a morning person. Perhaps it's because the "non-morning people" in my life, for the most part, have been the extreme end of the spectrum. So, the fact that I am capable of interaction from when I first get up to when I'm out of the shower, that I really only need one hit of the snooze alarm before I get up, that I can rarely sleep late, all of this informs me that I am, in fact, a morning person. Right?

No. You're wrong. You're not the best anymore. Unless you pay me a compliment right now. Ok, you're back to good.

There are two people with whom I work who are morning people to the other extreme. One comes bounding into my office like a Disney character each day, with what she deems to be a witty and clever greeting, often in a baby voice.

Let's be clear. The baby voice has a time and place and, quite frankly, when I do it, it's hysterical. Why? Because I don't do it in the office and I only do it for the two people in my life who it leaves in stitches.

But the energy. Good God. I am not ready for that right now. She's an early arriver to work like I am, and as I type this I dread hearing the movement up the steps, the creak our heavy hallway door makes, the unlocking of her door, the dropping of her stuff, the steps down the hallway.. oh no.. please.. just go to the fax machine.. don't come to me.. oh crap. "Oh... heeeeeeey..." Please dear god tell me the expression on my face isn't what I know it is.

The other, my boss, makes morning rounds. She really doesn't get into her actual office until about 45 minutes after she has arrived. But she just walks in, every morning, "Heeeeey. How's it goin'? What's new in your world?" and sits down. Just staring at me. My answers to her are usually very short, and only if she has the resilience to withstand my wall of coldness do I eventually succumb and warm to her. That, of course, means that we've had to sit together for a good 10 minutes. She's like a Jedi.

I don't know why I can't handle these interactions. I don't know why I have this shield of bitterness from the hour of 8-9:30. Perhaps it's because by arriving early every day, I try to carve out some "me time". And, yes, sometimes I write the occasional blog, but for the most part I'm trying to get in the zone for the day ahead. To do lists, return voice mails to people I don't actually want to talk to who aren't in yet, that sort of thing. 8-9 is the professional passive aggressive hour, after all! Honestly, I like being one step ahead of everyone before they arrive. My hope is that it gives the false impression that I know what I'm doing. It's all about perception, after all.

Since I've got this huge job change coming up, I've been thinking about ways to reinvent myself for my new staff. One thing is for sure, however. Each of them will get a pleasant morning greeting, but I pledge to not invade their space without purpose until they've had their own time. And they will never, ever hear my baby voice.