On distance...

This weekend has been extraordinary. Not for the activities I took part in, nor for any major life events, either personal or national. It would appear that, for no reason other than life itself, much of my past seems very very very far away.

Obvi, Celtic Not. "Don't tease with the profound only to offer the obvious," screams the reader! Seriously. Stay with me on this one. I'm someone who carries a fair share of baggage. The events of my past have lingered with me in ways more profound than the norm. After all, we can't help but be shaped by the past. The difference is, really, does the past haunt you?

My past has certainly haunted me. I will refrain from offering detail. But as random people and events from years passed entered my mind in fleeting manner this weekend, I found myself no longer feeling connections that, even days ago it seems, would have felt very raw. Certain former major players seemed to be unrecognizable to me. Who are they anymore? What does it matter, really?

Then it occurred to me. The saying always goes you can't love anyone until you love yourself. Allow me license to play with this phrase a bit. You can't forgive the pasts of others until you forgive your own. This is what I'm reconciling right now. Sins committed against me. Sins that I saw committed against others. Sins that I, alone, committed. Feelings of love. Feelings of anger. Feelings of resentment. Feelings of betrayal. And I think I'm there. I think I'm almost there. I think I'm finally read to move on. And if I can do it, anyone can. And THAT is what I really need to know.

And this, alone, could make all the difference in my world.