On Office Baby Brackets...

A former colleague of mine showed up to the office today with her two month old baby daughter in tow.

At that moment, a magical fairy dust memo seemed to make its way to everyone in our office. "Dear Staff: Alert! Alert! Baby in the Building! Please proceed to baby for appropriate hour of alternating squeals of 'OOOOOOOOOOOH MYYYYYYYYY GAWWWWWWD!' and 'She's SOOOOOOOOO precious!' Take your regular hour lunch immediately after."

All kidding aside, Tina* gave birth to one of the most beautiful baby girls I have ever seen. And the child was an angel for much of her visit. She slept in the adoring arms of another relatively new mama co-worker for the 30 minutes I sat with my colleagues and stared at her. We watched every finger twitch, every breath, every eye twitter. We were enraptured.

I, of course, left before many of my other co-workers. Most people were with Tina and her daughter for at least an hour. The experience lead me to believe that the NCAA Tourney Bracket has got nothing on a baby in the building when it comes to loss of office productivity. The very presence of a stroller at the front desk, the receptionist shared with me, led to widening eyes of anyone who passed by. "Baby? There's a baby here? Where?!"

Of course, I was just as excited to see Tina. Tina had been a tremendous influence on me when I first arrived at this job and hearing of her departure actually hurt my heart. She's got that perfect balance of professionalism, kindness, warmth, expertise and no nonsense attitude. I very much wished to model myself after her.

It's clear she's bringing that same mix to motherhood and I know she'll be a phenomenal mom. What was hard, however, was watching everyone beeline for the baby and not for her.

When I saw Tina walking down the hallway, I ran up to her and hugged her immediately. It didn't take long to notice I was the only one who did so. Everyone else focused solely on the child. No hugs for Tina. What scared me even more? No one asked her how SHE was doing.

Well, other than me. :)

Of course, when I asked, she made it about the baby. "Oh, she's doing better. Much better." "Oh good," I responded, "And you?" "Better," she smiled, "much better."

It would appear it's been a rough couple of months. The baby has reflux which means Tina has to alter her diet completely so the child doesn't experience major discomfort. It's an easy sacrifice for her and she was not complaining for a minute. Nevertheless, it didn't take much to determine, in her body language and level of fatigue, that it just hasn't been an easy go for her.

Still, it struck me that I was the only one who asked about her. HER.

In a way, it made me wonder if this is the beginning of the end for her. Wow, I really don't mean that to be as bad as it sounds. Still, it's what strikes me about motherhood and what I work so hard to combat with my friends who are mothers. Their identity so easily slips exclusively to their child's. When my first close friend had a baby, I heeded the advice of another who said, "Make sure when her birthday and Christmas rolls around that you buy something for her and not the kid." "Obviously," I replied. "No, really," said my friend, "You'd be surprised."

Motherhood is a tremendous gift. This cynical but somewhat spiritual gal will go so far as to say a true blessing. I simply ask that the next time you see your mommy friends you ask how THEY are doing, how THEY are feeling, and make sure their next gift is a completely self-indulgent one that requires no mall trip to the Baby Gap.

* Mother's name changed to protect baby from Lindbergh kidnappers.